I have some feedback for you about your latest storyboard.
First of all, the pizza should be served by a butler on a silver tray. Next, the pizza should be eaten using a knife and fork; it should not be eaten directly with the hands. Furthermore, the scene of the woman feeding a dog a piece of pizza under the table should be removed. Also, remove the trash can from the dining room scene.
And finally, I'd like to explain how the company logo should be presented. At the end of the commercial, a pizza should be shown on the table. On the pizza, our company's name, P2, should be spelled out using tomatoes.
この例題では、1~5の設問にそって解答していくと、メールができあがるものになっていますので、形式を整えながら順番に解答していきます。正解の例では、最初に「いくつかフィードバックがあります」とメールを送る目的を伝えたうえで、「pizza should be served by」「the pizza should be eaten using knife and fork」など、受動態を使いながら要件を表現することができます。接続詞なども用いながら、5つのポイントを簡潔にまとめています。
Writing Section Part C
【正解の例】
Steven,
I have some feedback for you about your latest storyboard.
First of all, the pizza should be served by a butler on a silver tray. Next, the pizza should be eaten using a knife and fork; it should not be eaten directly with the hands. Furthermore, the scene of the woman feeding a dog a piece of pizza under the table should be removed. Also, remove the trash can from the dining room scene.
And finally, I'd like to explain how the company logo should be presented. At the end of the commercial, a pizza should be shown on the table. On the pizza, our company's name, P2, should be spelled out using tomatoes.
Thanks!
George